After 2 weeks of being sick and trying to get well, after the dazzle of Christmas and a lot of "Happy New Year"-wishes I'm finally on my way home... away from my childhood home to my real home... a place I call my own. How wonderful it is to know that there is a place like that :)

Songs in my iPod, friends on my speed-dial, people and thoughts in my head that keep on spinning around.

My New Year came better than last year, there was more going on this year and I spent the evening mostly with people I didn't know. And maybe that's a good thing, maybe it'll prepare me for a year of changes... a lot of ideas, goals, lots of love (I hope) and having great friends around to do some nice things together with...

"Milk and toast and honey, ain't it funny how things sometimes look so clear..."

The year that ended had a lot of tears in it, but also a lot of relief, big changes and successful goals, I want my upcoming year to have the same kind of things in it... less tears though and a bit more happiness. I'm a bit tired of being unhappy and I think a lot of my friends would prefer to have their little sunshine back.

"Lay a little love in honey... it's everything that matters to me... it's everything I ought to be... it's everything I want"

Career: I'm proud of myself for being of great help in two bigger projects that took all the concentration and time I had. But I pulled through, I gave my best and continue to do it every day. For a while there I had quite a few bumps on the way, but I'm back on track, being sick for 2 weeks was exactly what was needed to remind me that I'm simply a human being and need to rest a bit every once in a while.

Some of my friends were laughing that it's actually me missing out on lots of love ands hugs, but I couldn't say that so too, I have wonderful friends and colleagues that have helped me a lot to hang in there through out a lot of events that went on this year.

I hope the upcoming year will bring me some new challenges that I'll be able to pursue and I know already I've got at least 3 sunshines waiting me back to work...

* * *
School: One of my goals for 2009 was to get back to school and I did it! Although I'm a bit guilty right now for not finishing all my first half-year stuff (which I hope to work on in the upcoming days) I feel good to be back in school. It's a goal, it's me moving on to something different in the future. Getting used to design, illustrations and etc.

In the upcoming years, at one point, I'd like to spend a year abroad studying illustration and book design and just spend a lot more time on design. I guess this is my creative calling. For that though I need a plan and need to finish off all my schoolwork as needed.

* * *
Health: In year 2008 I didn't smoke, in 2009 I started smoking - shame on me. However, having this bad habit kind of kept me off from some of the other horrible ones. After nagging on others when they were smoking I was no better myself. Why did I start with it? I think it's more of a social thing, I don't think that other's should do it, I don't recommend it to anyone.. in bus stops and streets I try to keep away from children and other people that might mind it... in 2010 I will quit.

It's not doing me any good. I need to take care of myself a bit better, sleep enough and continue to work on one of the 2009 goals that is still ongoing... losing weight. I guess it's safe to say right now that since February 2009 I've lost 15kg of my weight, there's still 10kg to go for my weight goal. Actually even less by now. If you're asking me if I'm dieting or having really tough times, I can assure you I don't. I'm just checking what I'm eating, and I have considerably lowered the amount of food that I used to consume. I guess my running around life-style has had it's effect on me too.

* * *
Love: After breaking up with my ex in February 2009 I haven't really been with anyone. If you're asking why, then I can tell you the simple truth: my bar has gone high, I'm not letting people in and for a while there I simply didn't have much time for men anyway. I wanted to become independent again and to find myself before I start romance around again.

Of course the flirty me hasn't been all on it's own, going over the events in my personal life with a girlfriend of mine we came to the conclusion that there were a lot of men... however most of them either were taken, not good enough, not willing enough... as I said, my bar has gone up and it's quite hard to jump over it. I think I know myself a bit better now, have thought about a few things and value myself in terms of that. I'm sick of the puppies that I've had the chance to be dating, the ones that are not looking for an equal partner but someone to only carry them through to the next challenge... well you know what, can't be only one-way. Has to be two-way. Honesty, respect, straight-forwardness, content... freedom to breathe - that's what I'm looking for.

* * *
Friends: This year has been a good year for me in terms of friends. They've been around, they've supported and I guess I've been a bit better in giving them attention too. Not so self-centered and concentrated on my world, but also considerate of their feelings and lifelines.

I've found also a few new friends, mostly male... why male? I guess they're a bit more straight-forward and that was something that I was looking for this year. Honesty and straightforwardness. No more playing around. I've had a few crushes and I've got over them as best as I could... now I've got some really great friends that have grown to my heart. There's really not much difference to love and friendship. But then again, I've always known that.

And my girlfriends? Well they've been a blast too: more doing together and more 1on1 time has really helped me advance to a level where I have a few really great friends that I know are there for me, no matter how tough the times. I want to use a lot of my time in 2010 for arranging some get-together's and doing things together... bring my friends together :) I have a feeling some of them would mix really-really well and nothing would make me feel better than having great and loving friends around. I'm truly blessed.. online, offline, on the line :)

* * *
Family: The end of the year really showed me how much I need my family and hoe nice it's to have brothers. They've been there for me, one more than another, but they're both precious to me. Living together and spending more time together really has shown me their love for me. Just thinking about it makes me tear up a bit right now. I've got support from them and they've let me into their life one small step at a time. I hope it will be like this for a long time. I'm also so glad they've got love in their life... both have a wonderful other "half" of their heart taken by wonderful women...

My parents have gone through some tough times this year... but I guess they're still doing as good as can be expected under the circumstances. In this age, there's been a few setbacks on their health which have made me worry about myself and them. Of course their own living habits are somewhat troublesome and making me worry but nothing all too serious. I hope to be there more this year for them, I should.

* * *
Music: I had music found and a bit of it also lost... the bad I've been playing with decided to "let me go" in a not very chivalrous manner... but I'm alright with it. All the more reason to move on and find some new challenges for year 2010. I've writte na few songs and a lot of poems... I'm going to continue to follow this dream, 'cause I can't be without music.

* * *
I guess this is it, I don't have any further thoughts right now. My year that was and the year that's coming, it'll be full of challenges. I hope to have time to think about it once I'm on my holidays to Ireland (less than a week until that happens)... first off-time in years. And my flirty self will get to get some hugs *sly smile* :)