I'm trying to find words to explain, what I'm feeling. From one side it's relief, 'cause I don't have to guess any more... guess what his feelings are for me. On the other side, I'm sad... the response I got was definitely not what I expected. I got another "no"... from another man. I'm not giving u . . . (More)

I found myself obsessing tonight, putting together my little tiny black squares, I found myself going back and fourth in my head... asking myself: "Where the hell is he?" and then thinking to myself: "Why do you do this to yourself?". It's hard to stop myself from thinking about him. This is freaky, . . . (More)

I stood there tryin' to find my nerveWondering if a single soul on EarthWould care at allMiss me when I'm goneThat old man just kept hanging aroundLookin' at me, lookin' downI think he recognizedThat look in my eyesStanding with him there I felt ashamedI said, You know, I haven't always felt this wa . . . (More)

Probably the most meaningful sentence of the day - "There are no shortcuts to love" - that's what I've been trying to tell myself. Lying in my bed early this morning, listening to music, trying to sleep and fighting the anxiety. That was also something that I was trying to reflect on myself when I w . . . (More)

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

If there are two things I hate about being a single woman, besides the whole absence of physical contact and having someone take you in your arms at night... it's the fact that I have to take out the garbage myself and the annoying chore of dragging full shopping bags home... they're heavy you know! . . . (More)

Amazing, how you can get turned down and then say "oh, nice, you're honest, I appreciate it!"... I can do that. I can, really! I just pulled it off!I've got my heart broken before, I've got my feelings torn apart, scattered all over... Mister Solicitous got me that far. Spending the night with him a . . . (More)

Right now, all that is left is just the bittersweet pain that comes from knowing that somewhere out there is a person, that will complete me. That will be my other half. The half that has most of my positive and negative traits. And I'll be ok with that.I had rehearsal today with my band... and then . . . (More)

I had a discussion with myself this morning... walking to work, having my 2nd cigarette ja was working on myself. Trying to cheer myself up. I was having quite a long discussion with myself... it was something like this:"Kaisa, you're a great girl, you've accomplished a lot, you have tons of people . . . (More)